By Rodrigo Ramirez Aguilar

After cancer treatment, there are days when I can feel very overwhelmed. When I feel overwhelmed, it is normally because of scanxiety or overall anxiety about doctors’ appointments on top of my daily life. During these times I like to reflect on what is stressing me out. I list down the things I can control, normally being school assignments or chores I have put off like cleaning my room, and act on them. This way I feel a sense of control in my life, making me feel accomplished. These ‘wins,’ no matter how small they may be, help me regain control of my mental space.

I have come to terms with some of this anxiety since it is normal to feel medical anxiety. When I feel this way, I like to do things that distract me from my worries. Primarily I like to play video games with my friends since they always cheer me up. I also like to swim and go hiking with my friends; that way I feel that I am helping my body stay healthy to the best of my abilities. Since these activities are things I would do before cancer, it helps me regain a sense of normality. 

I also like to reflect on how far I’ve come. I like to think of the times when I did not feel physically good during treatment. I then compare that time to the present and many of the minor inconveniences of life feel even smaller. Being hopeful has also helped me gain control of my mental space. I am hopeful my CT scans will continue to show good results, and I will one day be declared in a state of remission.

A Thank You Note To the Nurses

Being an American young adult that has dealt with cancer makes me feel very thankful. Although chemotherapy is over and I am considered NED, cancer is a battle that I am still fighting. The fact that I am living and recovering makes me grateful for the amazing team that treated me during chemotherapy. 

When I first arrived at UCLA pediatric oncology, I was diagnosed with seminoma, a type of testicular cancer. I was told I would have to receive 3 cycles of chemotherapy spanning over 10 weeks. When I first started chemo, I was horrified; I did not know what to expect or how I would feel. Thankfully the nurses at the UCLA hospital were all great; they would check in on me every hour to see if I needed anything. I became friends with many of the nurses there, making me feel cared for and heard. 

I remember toward the start of treatment, one nurse had brought me a sock monkey stuffed animal. That sock monkey meant more than just a regular old stuffed animal. It signified that I was being cared for and seen by my medical team. Now, after treatment, I am eternally grateful to the amazing team of nurses that treated me, receiving me with a positive attitude and helping me beat my cancer.